Listening is definitely vital and plays an important role in recognizing and validating the emotional needs of our children. It’s impossible to understand the mental needs of the kids if we fail to emotionally invest in their lives as well as consciously spend time by listening to them and understand them. If we are keen to deepen our relationships with them then listening is a critical factor to tune into their emotions and relate to them appropriately. Just offering and lending a patient ear to our child achieves the objective of bringing two people together and strengthens the bond between them.
The fact that we are there to hear them out is extremely comforting to children who only expect us to listen to them completely without our personal biases and judgements. Objective and detached listening to them helps us to stay open minded as it broadens our vision and expands our minds to seek, welcome and understand new concepts as well as fresh viewpoints that we resisted earlier. Only an objective and detached mind can accept new perspectives and make room for new ideas and thinking to replace our old, outdated and even faulty beliefs and thought processes.
It goes without saying that children immediately feel important when we pay attention to what they have to say. It makes them feel special, valued and indicates to them that their views matter and in fact are something important. By listening to them we send them a signal that they are important people who play a significant role in the family structure.
Listening is intrinsic to conscious or mindful parenting and is a major component and aspect of it. As parents if we have to parent consciously then listening mindfully with reasonable detachment and objectivity devoid of our personal judgements as well as biases is the first step towards it. Conscious parenting is impossible without prioritizing focused listening to our children. If we are to raise intuitive, mindful and holistic children then listening is the foremost aspect and central to it. Most of us are regarded as bad listeners considering our individual circumstances, our own hectic schedules and lack of time along with personal conditioning and our long-held convictions. Our personal convictions prevent us from listening to the other person with total attention and without any bias.
Our individual assumptions and our own righteousness arising from our false egos act as a barrier and stop us from keeping an open mind or listening to our little ones with complete attention. Apart from addressing and meeting the needs of the children, listening instantly establishes a rapport and strengthens it. Only listening to them can enable us to address and fulfill their needs appropriately and understand them better. Paying attention to the views and opinions of our children means we are emotionally connecting to them. It is the most vital step and certainly a positive signal towards empathizing with their feelings. It means as we tune into their emotions we indicate our willingness to understand, know and welcome them as individuals in their own right.
If we are to know our children adequately then taking out the time to hear them out is imperative. Listening is mandatory to comprehend what children are going through and address their problems better. When we keep our ears wide open and listen to their tales of hilarious and innocent exploits with their friends at school and take joy in sharing stories and jokes we send positive vibes of deep love, warmth, affection and respect we as parents have for them in our hearts.
Children observing us paying close attention to what they have to say immediately feel cherished and validated. As they consider parents to be their role models and emulate their attitude, children learn from us and when they notice we are being good listeners they take it upon themselves and immediately understand the responsibility and importance of showing good listening skills.