Why Children Misunderstand Parents

Misunderstandings are a result of our distorted, warped and twisted messages, misinterpreted signals as well as obscure instructions and muddled and unclear exhortations that lack transparency, clarity, honesty, openness and even a sense of connection with our kids. They are basically advice, suggestions and recommendations and casual conversations as well as our messages gone awry. They reflect the inability of parents and children to understand each other and demonstrate the absence of belongingness, connection, proximity, bonhomie and kinship between them. Misunderstandings are known to cause stress, perpetual confusion, severe mistrust, misconceptions and false assumptions or ideas about one another as well as misgivings and even negativity against each other. They hamper communication even triggering a complete collapse of it, hinder relationships adversely and in some cases even leads to hostility with our children who completely misread as well as misinterpret our intentions however genuine, noble, lofty and well-meaning they are. Children misperceive us and refuse to show trust in our aspirations and goals for them but rather start doubting our intentions for them. Nothing hurts a parent than when our child fails to show trust and faith in us. It is only when children start trusting their parents that the latter’s confidence grows, and they can support their kids effectively while strengthening the bond between them.

When children misunderstand parents, it is usually a sign of not knowing them well-enough, of having failed to understand her parents in other words children are ignorant of the true intentions of their parents and their own authentic relationship or dynamics with them. What could be the reason for not establishing a bond or relationship with their parents? What could be the reason for the inability to connect with his/her own parent? How can a child fail to understand and trust his mother or father? Why would children distance themselves from their own parents? Why would they hesitate to open up to their parents? Is it because they don’t feel close enough with them and find it challenging to connect with them? Do our children have underlying concerns and issues that need addressal by parents? Have parents failed to observe their children carefully and look at them closely to understand them better? Have they faltered in offering security, love, support and comfort to their children?

Failing to connect with the parents is generally a result of a lack of proximity with them. It is rather an absence of connection with them that leads to fractured relationships and dysfunctional bonds as well as lack of confidence and trust in parents. Misunderstandings and misgivings are only normal and inevitable when parents fail to bond or connect with their child and they become apparent in an environment where building strong bonds or ties, establishing stability, associations and connections have taken a back seat, neglected and ignored or not prioritized. A misunderstanding illustrates a lack of understanding, trust and absence of strong ties between a parent and her child. It is also a misinterpretation of our transmission or communication and a misunderstanding of our intentions as well as actions.

Misunderstandings happen due to:

  1. Lack of love
  2. Lack of communication.
  3. Lack of understanding between a parent and his child.
  4. Misinterpretation of a parent’s message.
  5. Lack of trust and confidence in parents.
  6. Absence of proximity and closeness with the parents.
  7. Lack of connection with parents.
  8. Misgivings about the intentions of parents.
  9. Ignorance of the dynamics and relationship with their parents.
  10. Absence of feelings of security, warmth and protection between children and their parents.

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